Doublespeak

Crikey today gave us some entertaining and accurate examples of doublespeak.

"Close personal friend" – lover
"Assisting police with inquiries" – guilty
"Sources close to Michael Kroger" – Michael Kroger
"Kerry Packer's friend" – Kerry Packer's mistress
"Colourful character" – a crook.
"Flamboyant" – gay
"Tired and emotional" – drunk
"I've decided to spend more time with the kids" – sacked
"The CEO has full support of the board" – about to be sacked.

Its true. And these translations show the way we read the news. How for example do you read this?